Today, my dearest of readers, I've been humbled. I know now, that I have to change my ways.
God himself has shown me the path to redemption. His light has shined down on me in all its glory... and saved me. Perhaps he will give me the gift to show others what he has shown to me.
Dirty Lou may be no more. No, I take that back... Dirty Lou IS no more. I appologize, dear readers. I sincerely appologize.
I can't carry on any longer being the dirty, sexy, hot and luscious mother fucker that I am when there's such suffering in the world.
I was sent a picture today from a concerned reader, and it really opened my eyes.
I now realise that we, as Americans, and myself as a bigtime influential blogger, have a responsibility to take care of those who are less fortunate. I see, now, that there are children, innocent kids, that do not have what we've been given...
Style baby, style!I mean, look at these guys. Although they obviously spend at least an hour a day at the gym on the eliptical (Probably on the 12 setting), and they probably eat sushi like every morning for breakfast, (can anyone say "wheatgrass"?), they can't properly spike a simple mohawk. Try some hair gel assholes. You look like idiots..
They may be glamorous, and their physuique may damn near perfect, but they have no sense of style. Sure they're tan and ripped, but please... get some fucking hair gel and fix those mohawks proper like.
Mr. Perfect, you may have it all, cars, money, girls, a tight bod, but if you're gonna hit the clubs, at least put some Paul Mitchell up in your curleys. Have you looked in the mirror?
Why spend all that time in the gym, all that time with your personal trainer and your nutritionist, if you're not going to look as good as you feel?
You've obviously worked very hard to get that perfect body, now please, for the love of god, get some fucking style.
Now you see, dearest of readers, that there is real suffering going on in this world. Its me. I'm suffering looking at these perfect specimens of health and vigor ruin their entire look with some sloppy grooming.
So, its our job, as Americans and influential bloggers, to FedEx these guys (overnight, of course) some of that new Alberto V-O5 super hold gel, or at least a can of Aquanet so we can finally put an end to this misery.
Mr. Perfect, you may have it all, cars, money, girls, a tight bod, but if you're gonna hit the clubs, at least put some Paul Mitchell up in your curleys. Have you looked in the mirror?
Why spend all that time in the gym, all that time with your personal trainer and your nutritionist, if you're not going to look as good as you feel?
You've obviously worked very hard to get that perfect body, now please, for the love of god, get some fucking style.
Now you see, dearest of readers, that there is real suffering going on in this world. Its me. I'm suffering looking at these perfect specimens of health and vigor ruin their entire look with some sloppy grooming.
So, its our job, as Americans and influential bloggers, to FedEx these guys (overnight, of course) some of that new Alberto V-O5 super hold gel, or at least a can of Aquanet so we can finally put an end to this misery.
Then, dearest freinds, I can return to being your master and teacher of all things sex, dirt and offense.
Thank God for showing me the light.
Love always,
Thank God for showing me the light.
Love always,
Dirty Lou
3 comments:
Jeezus man, you're fucking sick. Wow. wow wow. fuck.
MORE!!!
Dirty, we need some stories bro... some dirty lou originals about boinkin sluzzos and other dirty shizzs...
Peace
Well, not since great men like John Quincy Adams, and Andrew Jackson has the desire to improve foreign relatons been so evident. I would adhere to failures of the present world like cultural differences to support you Lou, yes, you. A modern world enabler of a more superfluous version of the past Monroe Doctrines. Yes, this doctrine dealt with isolation, but does this perputrader of exercise and looks not try and cock block our fellow brothers in the same manner. So,it is clear that isolation is rather a way to hoard; and that is why I believe you are one of the great men trying to bring down tyrannical policy like past Monroe Doctrines. If it were not for imperfections like this young bucks lack of style...folks like you and me (Lou) would not have a chance. I applaud your efforts and the noble accounts taken to incorporate a foreign policy that might enable a welcoming of worlds. Much unlike the Doctrine of old a new Doctrine is born. The Lou Doctrine... It is percise, accurate, and unlike old policy, will jerk you off. If I have but one fault here, it is that I am not a frequenter of the blog. I am, now, and forever, bound to reply and remain informed under the very words you transpire. Thank you for light in a dark world....
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