Mr. Awesome -- A Personal Hero

p.s. My Super Dirty Stories From Disney are on the way!

Dirty Does Disney

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coming soon: a real life, very obscene adventure of Dirty Lou.

Dirty Lou went to Disney World last weekend... and boy does he have some hillariously dirty stories to share with his readers.

Lets just say he'd make pinocchio proud!

Sneak Preview: lesbians, crabs, drunken excursions, smuggling booze into The Magic Kingdom and a cry for help... All in the next post from Dirty Lou

Best,

Dirty's Handyman

Hahahah! LOL! Touche'! I have to give credit where credit is due and you reamed me a new one! (No pun inteneded) I should have known better to take on a mouth like yours! I am no verbal competition and accept defeat!

But your response was hot, so when and where and you going to teach me a thing or two? Me and my sistas can't wait to see what we can really do with your 'action figure' and cd collection..... The human body is an amazingly adaptable vessel, is it not?

Or again, are you full of shit? Put up or shut up Dirty!

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My dearest Anonymous,

sounds like you're falling in love with me. Don't worry, its not unusual for a slave to fall for her capturer. It's called the Stockholm Syndrome... look that shit up.

While I have yet to physically make you my love slave, I have completely overtaken you with my super-sexy language and red hot pictures of myself with various prostitutes and low-lifes.

The physical domination will occur this Friday night at The Blue Anchor (from 6-9 pm)

There, I'll take you into my arms, gently caress your face and slowly insert my car keys into your ass while I remove any cash and breath-mints from your purse.

Can't wait to see you. Bring ya sistas. I need a harem of whores to drop my sexiness on.

Love your master,

Dirty Lou

What is Love?

What is love?

What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness?
Is it not the sweetest flower?
Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds?
Does not the wind love the dirt?
Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to?

Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself.

Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy.

Whip out everything you got...
and do it in the butt.

A Note From Daddy Dix -- Just Another Manic Sunday

I think that if you have a hairy chest, you should be allowed to purchase wine on Sundays.

Well, even if you don't have a hairy chest, I think you should still be allowed to buy wine on Sundays.

Forget what I said about the hairy chest. You can't enjoy your glass of wine if you're thinking about hairy chests.

--Daddy Dix

A Changed Man

Perhaps I haven't spent enough quality time with the people that I love... perhaps I haven't spent enough time worrying about others. Perhaps I've been too damn selfish.

Today, my dearest of readers, I've been humbled. I know now, that I have to change my ways.

God himself has shown me the path to redemption. His light has shined down on me in all its glory... and saved me. Perhaps he will give me the gift to show others what he has shown to me.

Dirty Lou may be no more. No, I take that back... Dirty Lou IS no more. I appologize, dear readers. I sincerely appologize.

I can't carry on any longer being the dirty, sexy, hot and luscious mother fucker that I am when there's such suffering in the world.

I was sent a picture today from a concerned reader, and it really opened my eyes.

I now realise that we, as Americans, and myself as a bigtime influential blogger, have a responsibility to take care of those who are less fortunate. I see, now, that there are children, innocent kids, that do not have what we've been given...

Style baby, style!

I mean, look at these guys. Although they obviously spend at least an hour a day at the gym on the eliptical (Probably on the 12 setting), and they probably eat sushi like every morning for breakfast, (can anyone say "wheatgrass"?), they can't properly spike a simple mohawk. Try some hair gel assholes. You look like idiots..

They may be glamorous, and their physuique may damn near perfect, but they have no sense of style. Sure they're tan and ripped, but please... get some fucking hair gel and fix those mohawks proper like.

Mr. Perfect, you may have it all, cars, money, girls, a tight bod, but if you're gonna hit the clubs, at least put some Paul Mitchell up in your curleys. Have you looked in the mirror?

Why spend all that time in the gym, all that time with your personal trainer and your nutritionist, if you're not going to look as good as you feel?

You've obviously worked very hard to get that perfect body, now please, for the love of god, get some fucking style.

Now you see, dearest of readers, that there is real suffering going on in this world. Its me. I'm suffering looking at these perfect specimens of health and vigor ruin their entire look with some sloppy grooming.

So, its our job, as Americans and influential bloggers, to FedEx these guys (overnight, of course) some of that new Alberto V-O5 super hold gel, or at least a can of Aquanet so we can finally put an end to this misery.

Then, dearest freinds, I can return to being your master and teacher of all things sex, dirt and offense.

Thank God for showing me the light.

Love always,

Dirty Lou